Taylor Swift has taught us of the naivety of falling in love when you’re fifteen and that being twenty-two comes with feeling “happy, free, confused, and lonely, at the same time”, yet she hasn’t offered any wisdom of what nineteen brings. Frankly, I’m not surprised because being nineteen is by far the oddest stage of adulthood.
I’m at this strange juncture of longing for more freedom but being not quite ready to abandon my childish sense of curiosity and dive head-first into a world of practicality and responsibility. Part of me is dying to be like one those sophisticated post-grad twenty-somethings who seem to have everything all figured out, yet at the same time, I’m not sure if I’m ready to move on from a stage in my life where it’s still socially acceptable to drunkenly order Dominos at 3am.
To be quite honest, it seems as though being nineteen is just like being the less-than-noteworthy age of fourteen all over again. The rush of excitement that came with my mom finally letting me go to mall by myself was enough to make the fourteen-year-old version of me feel like a badass, just like my curfew-less college nights filled with cheap beer and poor decisions makes nineteen-year-old me feel on top of the world (after the hangover subsides, of course.) However, at the end of my independent escapades in Hollister, Abercrombie, & Forever 21, fourteen-year-old me was brought back to reality as I took my place in the passengers seat of my mom’s Jeep. Fast forward five years and a similar scenario plays out because at the end of another semester of living by my own rules, nineteen-year-old me is back in my childhood bedroom answering to my parents.
It seems only fitting to turn to social media to deal with yet another awkward, intermediate stage of growing up seeing as though angsty AIM messages and MySpace music seemed to get me through my middle school days relatively unscathed. So, without further ado, I give you a blog filled with the thoughts of a nineteen-going-on-twenty year old, just trying to figure out this whole life thing.